A Head Full of Balloons

if home is where the heart is

then why aren’t you already living inside of me??

i love you.  you will be a great parent when the time for procreation comes.

so many clusterfucks, so little time

important things are feeling irrelevant, things that have always been feel like a sudden surprise, i wish it could just be winter break already.

falling behind, how typical

this weekend was strangely eventful and exhausting.  i feel worse for nate, he basically had life shit all over his face: his car got hit and run, stomach virus (which ended with me taking him to the hospital), and me fucking up his car (scratched some paint off the corner in my rush to park at the hospital while he was puking and dying everywhere)  i’ve never had to deal with taking care of someone like this; i panicked when i realized that our only option was to take him to the ER.  made me feel grown up but also very very tired.  im glad its passed and am still nervous that i might catch it, seeing as we had three other friends also drop like flies.

im tired of getting really drunk and going out, lately it seems so pointless and littered with empty careless interactions.  sometimes i wish that nate would stick by me more at parties. i suck at fending boys off and sometimes they get so strangely aggressive.  the days of second half of second year feel so long ago. i miss bumming around with nate and forgoing going out to smoke and watch south park in bed.  living with social white girls has upped my productivity and socialness, but i still feel like the hermit inside needs some time to shine as well.

back to reading econ, which i didn’t know could involve so many numbers, equations, and natural logs.  schoolwork saddens me

I have a headache and don’t want do work

so this is the result of it all.  surprise!